My annual Christmastime music fun

Last year I had a look at the UK pop chart to see what the annual Christmas single might be, so I decided to have a look again to see what was in contention.

Down at number 40 is Red Hot Chili Peppers with "Snow ((Hey Oh))." (The double parenthesis seems to be deliberate. I don't know why.) I suspect that this is not really a Christmas song, but really. Snow for Christmas. I think that counts.

Likewise at number 39 Jay-Z's "Show Me What You Got" obviously has something to do with the fun of opening up Christmas presents with the family.

Snow Patrol has a song at number 35. Snow again. That counts.

At 31 we have Fratellis - "Whistle For The Choir" a reference to wassailing, I have to presume.

Coming in at number 26 is Emma Bunton with "Downtown." As with most of these songs, I haven't actually heard this, but I think she was a Spice Girl and I hope to God that she isn't doing the Petula Clark song. Anyway, "downtown" is where you go shopping for Christmas presents.

The BBC 1 Singles Chart lists Ricky Tomlinson's entry (which is at number 25) as "Christmas My A*se." I have to point out that when Americans want to make get that word past the censors, they add the "r" to where the asterisk is, which makes it seem posh to us. I love these subtleties.

At 23 - Slade! My God! Are they still alive? They're doing "Merry Xmas Everybody." Merry Xmas Slade!

Andy Abraham and Michael Underwood are at number 18 with "December Brings Me Back To You." Close enough.

Debuting at 16 is Crazy Frog with "Last Christmas" which is when I said "I have to say that The Crazy Frog just flat out gives me the creeps." Still does.

An article in the latest Uncut gives me the impression that The Pogues' "Fairytale Of New York" is much more well known in the UK than here. It's at number 10. Today is the 22nd and I haven't heard it yet this year. Don't worry, I'll dig the CD out.

Roughly a third of my readership is from the UK (thank you Comic Strip Presents) so for that contingent I have to apologise. But for family and friends and sundry Americans I have to explain who Cliff Richard is. We know him as the guy Rik makes fun of on The Young Ones, and if someone plays "Devil Woman," folks of a certain age will sort of blink and go "oh, that."

In England this man is like Elvis. Elvis without the barbs and the carbos, but nevertheless. He has hit the Number One on the UK pop charts at least once every decade from the fifties to the nineties. He has yet to get a number one in the current decade. Currently he is at number 2, with something called "21st Century Christmas." I get the impression that this is what some might call the sentimental favorite.

At number one is Take That. Americans don't know them either. They were a boy band once. I was certain they'd broken up. Good for them persevering and all.