The Comic Strip, Part 10 - And if our bones bleach on the desert, we'll consider we are blessed

"A Fistfull of Traveler's Cheques" - January 21, 1984

I've never understood why, but I've always thought of this as somehow the quintessential episode. It's no surprise to find that the package design of the box set is almost entirely based on the "bomb drop" opening, except for the back which is based on imagery from this episode. (Now watch as it turns out that there are variant boxes with backs based on other episodes - collect them all!)

First of all there is the look of the episode. This season looks like it has a larger budget, and this one is particularly fine -- shot entirely on film, on location in Spain. If I were a much bigger Spaghetti Western buff, I'm sure I would be spending hours digging to see if the locations and camera angles match up to the films that inspired this.

Next there are the characters, at once incomprehensible, but also completely recognizable. These are the sorts of people that you actually run into from time to time. You can sort of understand what they're on about, but at the same time you can't quite figure out how serious they are about who they are presenting themselves to be and what they're trying to do with their lives. Nigel Planer's hitchhiker is the sort of looney that you actually run into from time to time, one of those guys that makes you think, "well, I can just sort of flow with this for a while - he can't possibly be this bizarre once I get to know him." And then it takes about four minutes to realize that he is, for whatever reason, so blindingly annoying that you don't want to find out anymore. Ade Edmonson's crazed matador guy is also, while a broad caricature, somehow very much like real people whom I've tried very hard to stay clear of in various drinking establishments and mass transit systems.

And into this melange strides "Carlos" and "Miguel," a pair of Englishmen on a semi-crazed search for some sort of wild west experience. They seem to be two decent guys daring each other to be obnoxious. I think the best part of the episode is watching them react to each other, somehow egging themselves on and getting frustrated that they have already pushed their game too far.

Try to remember the November header

Frequent eagle-eyed visitors will notice the header has again been changed.

The previous one ("You can't fight off an army of bloodthirsty Vikings with a shehnai. It's illogical.") came from the tepid yet somewhat heartwarming John Cusack vehicle, Serendipity. I have to give Sepia Mutiny credit for transcribing the quote and identifying the shehnai (silly me - I had presumed that John Corbett was playing a soprano sax, Kenny G-like).

It seems that they caught a repeat of this film at the same time I did, and although they weren't too hot on the film itself, were particularly taken with the quote - they referred to it as a "little fudge cake of brilliance." Which might end up being the next header I slap up there.

I thought she was dead!

Variety is reporting that Beverly Cleary has just signed off on deal to have her "classic" children's books filmed.

Susan Katz, prexy [president] of HarperCollins kid division, said, "As Beverly Cleary turns 90, it's the ideal time to reintroduce Ramona Quimby -- and all of Mrs. Cleary's other memorable characters -- to a new generation of young people."

How do you "reintroduce" something to "a new generation?"

Sort of like how Batman and the Joker created each other

This past Sunday, Doonesbury alluded to a hazing incident at Yale that occurred in 1967 (when both Trudeau and George W Bush were students). Interestingly, this article implies that Trudeau's first published cartoon (In the Yale Daily News) was about this same incident. So had Bush gone to Harvard for his Undergrad, Doonesbury might never have existed...

It's that creaky loom of destiny at work.

Never underestimate the power of magic

A friend posted one of those clever "What kind of fictional blah-blah are you" generators based on the Harry Potter universe. I'm always up for a challenge.

My results:

House:Ravenclaw
Wand:Mahogany, 10", Veela Hair
Best Course:Potions
Worst Course:Care of Magical Creatures
Pet:Spectacled Owl
Patronus:Kangaroo
Quidditch Job:Commentator
Wizard Candy:Bertie Botts every Flavour Beans (Mmm! Toenail!)
Profession After School:Hogwarts Professor

Note the Patronus -- It's a sign! I'm sure to get that scooter now!

Just fire up your patronus
and grab yourself a bun
squirt a splash of relish
and it's Hoppy-Roteen fun!

Civilization on the march

Fewer people are going hunting. Experts blame violent video games.

New horizons in marketing

Producers of packaged kangaroo meat have a problem. Nobody wants to buy kangaroo meat. Solution?

Call the meat something else. But what?

Here's where you come in: They are now holding a contest for the best new name to call their edible kangaroo product! Win a scooter!

My entry: "Hoppy-roteen."

I'll let you know when I get my scooter.

The Comic Strip, Addendum. - I'm nothing if not detail oriented!

During the course of the "Five Go Mad on Mescalin" episode, I notice that Ron Tarr is wearing a ripped mesh shirt.


I notice the mesh shirt, because I had recently seen an episode of I Love the '80's where mesh shirts are discussed. So here's a mesh shirt. (someone says "plate of fish," you see an ad for "a plate of fish").

Later on in the episode, Candy Davis is wearing the same mesh shirt.


This makes sense to me because the episode implies that they are likely to be having sex, and Ron Tarr has changed into his thug suit, so why not?

As I am watching "Susie," I notice a character wearing a ripped mesh shirt. Where, I think to myself, have I seen that?

So I'm watching the next episode to review ("A Fistful of travelers' Cheques") and look:


I haven't had a chance to go through "Susie" so I don't have a screen grab from that one yet, but I promise to keep up on this amazing development.

UPDATE:

It wasn't a mesh shirt in "Susie." It was a t-shirt with an interesting pattern on it. It's a funny old world.

Hello Television Futurists!

An interesting article about the influence of current technologies on the television production industry here.

From the letters pages of Vanity Fair

[In the story about Paris Hilton, her sister] Nicky Hilton asked, "I'm 21 years old, I run two multi-million-dollar companies, I work my ass off. Like, what were you doing that was so fucking important at that age?" I would like to repond to that. When I was 21, I was busy working toward my Ph.D. in organic chemistry at the University of Minnesota. I was the first to synthesize the compound okadaic acid -- shown to be the leading cause of breast cancer.

- Steven F. Sabes
Wayzata, Minnesota

Thank you, BoingBoing!

Arrested Development Post-Mortem

Variety looks at the upcoming last days of the Bluths.

They're going out fighting. Or at least making fun of themselves.

Just think. It could be worse.

"We weren't going for the bombastic. Even the promotions themselves are not overhyped in the way that sometimes promotions can be. Everything is sort of notched up a degree in the classy area."

--Brett Dicker, Buena Vista Pictures executive VP of marketing discusses the subtle, low key advertising campaign currently underway for the new Narnia film.

Empty advertising dare of the month

"Drama, mind-reading and Tori Spelling -- don't you dare miss it!"

-ad copy for Lifetime Movie/Pilot Mind Over Murder

You thought I was crazy for wanting to go somewhere to drive along a ramp?

This guy went to upper Norway to see the Northern Lights.

And while he was there he did some surfing.

Next we shall cover our news with copious amounts of dill

Andreas Viestad will be returning for the next season of New Scandinavian Cooking.

Among other things, he'll be making "Norwegian style sushi."

This one's for you, Mom.

One of the stories that I recall hearing about the trip to Europe that my parents took in their youth regards my mother's enthusiasm when she discovered that their driving plan took them across the border between a country where cars drove on the left side of the road to one where they drove on the right.

Being a clever person with the heart and soul of an engineer, she set about wondering how the switchover would manifest itself. I believe that she was hoping for an elaborate set of ramps. Not that I find anything wrong with that, I too enjoy driving along elaborate ramps, and look forward to journeys where I can do so. (I am hoping to one day drive along the Norwegian northwest coast highway, as it looks like a big bunch of fun.)

The story goes that when they arrived at the changeover, they found a uniformed policeman who blew a whistle, stopped them, waved some cars coming the other direction to cross in front of them, and then sent them on their way.

Disappointment!

The Google Sightseeing page brings us a shot of The Lotus Bridge, which connects China (drives on the right) and Macau (drives on the left).

Now this is how it should be done.

The loops are enticing, no? Perhaps some week when I have nothing better to do, I will go to China and drive back and forth across the bridge. In the process, I am sure to make friends with all of the customs officials and help further international good will.

As with almost all things, you can learn far more than you ever needed to know about driving sidedness at Wikipedia.

Sherlock Holmes Returns!

For the past few years, the Stanford University Library has been digitizing Dickens novels and distributing them in their original magazine format.

This year (January to April '06), they will be distributing Sherlock Holmes Adventures (specifically "A Scandal in Bohemia," "The Speckled Band," The Hound of the Baskervilles, and "The Final Problem") exactly as they were published in The Strand Magazine in .pdf or hard copy.

Are you ready for the bird flu?

KFC is.

Had I but Known...

When I decided to start on this little internet adventure, I knew that the tides of my whimsy would lead me to places that I had no idea I would go.


Aquaman is suddenly a hot topic. And not only does nobody know why, but everyone is admitting that they don't know why. But it's a hot topic. So we'll keep on it to stay current. God knows why, though.

Aquaman seems to have gone through two phases. The first is the "J Crew Fish-talking" Aquaman. A gentle, bland fellow. Little girls loved him. You can take him home to Mom. Everyone loves to rank on this Aquaman because he was boring out of the gate and bloody well stayed that way. Even now, when people rank on Aquaman, they are ranking on this one.

That because the other one is "crazy-nuts homeless guy harpoon-hand psycho" Aquaman. Nobody will rank on this one, probably because he looks like he will jump out of the comic book and harpoon you just for looking at him funny.

Of course the problem is that it's still Aquaman. It's sort of like when the painfully shy awkward kid from down the street goes off and becomes a coke-addict car thief. You don't quite take him seriously because deep down he's still the same painfully shy awkward kid.

So anyway. The Smallville appearance was a ratings winner, and the spin-off already has a fan site. They're looking for a new actor, and I'm sure that every young kid in LA is looking forward to calling home after that audition.

Meanwhile, for all of your Aqua-knowledge needs, there are some fine articles here and here.

I'll try my best to stop talking about Aquaman now. Which means that something else involving him will pop up to amuse me quite soon.

We're the Kids in America. Or Finland.

To celebrate the 24th anniversary of the release of "Kids In America," Kim Wilde is rather generously putting up a ton of cover versions on her site.

Five Year's Hell in a Country Parish

You can't beat that title. Five Year's Hell in a Country Parish is the title of a book that I've been trying to track down for close to a decade.

The book was published in the early 1920's by a British clergyman who had endured just that, and unlike most clergy who are installed into a congregation wracked with infighting and name-calling, this fellow decided to fight back. The result was this book, which is rather a legendary one due to its honesty. The Rev. Edward Fitzgerald Synnott, the Rector of Rusper was not a fearful man. He not only told the truth (or at least his side of it), he named names.

I have not yet found the book itself, but a website run by a fellow who is an historian of the area that this all took place. He has a very interesting essay up about the book and its aftermath.

Two things from the essay struck me as interesting:

1) Synnott was a practitioner of what was called "Muscular Christianity" back in the day. An interesting counterpoint to this book then would be Chariots of Fire, which touches on the same movement, in a manner more in keeping with its actual goals.

2) The essayist gives a bit of history that I'd never heard about this book: I had always presumed that the author was writing from a vantage point of having left and was off in a new position, venting into a book while licking his wounds. Nope. After this book was published he remained in the self-same "Hell in a Country Parish" for another thirteen years.

That must have been jolly.

New Cybermen revealed!

It's going to be a lovely ride.

Go to the BBC for a big pic, and check out the flares and comedy shoes!

Now here's something I need for the home and office

A self cleaning work table.

Reality imitates my goofy banter

The WB Network and the producers of "Smallville" are said to be holding preliminary talks about the possibility of a spin-off featuring the scaly undersea king, sources said yesterday.

That's right.

Aquaman.

Perhaps I should start cracking goofy jokes about winning the lottery.

The life of a pop culture commentator is never easy.

Circumstances have somehow forced Richard Roeper to devote an entire column on the latest obscene hand gesture fad.

The Comic Strip, Part 9 - all of the leaves have gone green

"Susie" - January 14th, 1984


Here is the synopsis from epguides.com:

A lascivious schoolteacher has grown hopelessly bored with her bland small-town existence. Her world takes a sudden turn, however, when a wealthy, impetuous pop star moves to town to get a taste of country life. Suddenly, she must choose between her tedious but adoring husband, her indifferent but steady lover, and this intriguing, unpredictable new man in her life.

I could not do any better than that.

One of the things that I am enjoying about seeing these episodes in order at last is seeing how they all play off each other. Where the last one was a surreal farce, this one is only steps away from the sort of drama it's trying to lampoon. Really. Jettison most of the po-faced meta-textually self-aware dialogue, and expand the episode so it is not so breakneck (It clocks in at 33 minutes, but it feels like an hour long) and you have the sort of movie that dies in the multiplex (Ebert likes it and Roeper is indifferent -- ultimately giving it a thumbs down because the characters don't think to use their cell phones in a moment of crisis. He hates that.) but does well in the three-screen college neighborhood mid-to-low price independent theater (with the art-school popcorn barristas and the other two movies could be a soccer comedy from Zimbabwe and a documentary about the hidden social culture of the grey squirrel) and later shows up on an international airline seat-back video player as counter-programming to Herbie Jumps Over the Grand Cayman Islands.

You know the type.

This was another episode not shown on MTV. In some ways this is understandable, as there is an awful lot of sex. In other ways it isn't, as all that shows up on screen is bouncing cars. Of all the things that have turned up on MTV, I can't imagine that they would be upset about bouncing cars, but then I've never pretended to understand MTV. Another reason could be that they simply didn't want to cut the episode down to fit the slot, which on the face of it is unlikely as well - I can't see them suddenly being concerned with something being edited to the point where it no longer makes sense.

Oh, and three cheers for the ending. It not only isn't a cop-out, but makes sense in context of the episode and is (until the punchline which is also fine) reasonably unexpected.

As I walked out in the streets of Laredo,

Here are some of the streets of Laredo, via google maps

As I walked out in Laredo one day,

The official site of the City of Laredo can be found here. If you walk out of Laredo you might find yourself in Mexico, which is just over the bridge.

I spied a poor cowboy all dressed in white linen,

Some versions of the lyrics say "wrapped up" rather than "dressed." I'm not sure what is implied by the cowboy being wrapped up in white linen.

Dressed up in white linen and cold as the clay.

The cowboy is bleeding out and starting to go into shock. I imagine that the bullet missed his heart, perhaps puncturing a lung.

"I see by your outfit that you are a cowboy,"

A cowboy outfit! You can purchase cowboy gear at the Buffalo Brothers Cowboy Store.

These words he did say as I boldly stepped by.

It's at this point in the song that the Smothers Brothers version diverges. If you shop at Buffalo Brothers Cowboy store, you can be a cowboy too.

"Come sit down beside me and hear my sad story;

The sad story was originally put to this melody in a Scottish folk song called 'The Bard of Armagh' or 'The Unfortunate Rake'. It's pretty much the same sad story.

I was shot in the breast and I know I must die.

We've already gone over the "CSI" business. Oddly, the narrator has no idea that the cowboy was there until he hears the man speak. As no gunshot was heard, one imagines that he has been bleeding there for a while. Nobody can haul the man to a doctor. He must have been deemed a hopeless case. Such is the reality of Wild West medicine.

It was once in the saddle I used to go dashing,

I'm not entirely sure what "dashing" might be, but I would have guessed that it's something to do after one gets out of the saddle.

It was once in the saddle I used to go gay.

This line or even the stanza is frequently jettisoned when sung by schoolchildren, because it causes them to get the giggles for some reason.

Off to the dram house and off to the card house

I would have imagined that the drinking and card playing would be done in the same establishment. More efficient that way.

Got shot in the breast, I am dying today.

We know, dear. We know.

Get six strong cowboys to carry my coffin,

Sometimes the line is "jolly cowboys." I imagine a strong cowboy would be easier to find under the circumstances.

Get six pretty girls to sing me a song

The Webb Wilder version uses the term "whore gals." This might be a more authentic version, but it isn't used that often.

Put bunches of roses all over my coffin, so they can't smell me as they bear me along

I don't think this will work all that well.

O beat the drum slowly and play the fife lowly

You know, for someone that nobody even wants to clear out of the street, he really has a lot of high-fallutin' expectations about this.

And play the dead march as you carry me along,

"The" as opposed to "a" dead march. A particular piece? This one? How meta!

Take me to the green valley and lay the sod o'er me,

Not having been to Laredo, I'm not sure where the Green Valley might be. Laredo is apparently an excellent venue for bird watching.

For I am a young cowboy and I know I've done wrong.

An additional stanza that I found online occurs after this line:

Go bring me a cup, a cup of cold water
To cool my parched lips," the young cowboy said.
Before I returned, the spirit had left him
And gone to its Maker, the cowboy was dead.

I've never heard it sung.

We beat the drum slowly and played the fife lowly,

They were able to get a band after all! Excellent!

And bitterly wept as we bore him along;

Another varient is "St. John's Infirmary." Best known currently as the root of the jazz standard "St. John's Infirmary Blues."

It's even more of a downer.

For we all loved our comrade, so brave, young, and handsome,

The version recorded by Prefab Sprout includes a bridge containing the words "Not long for this world,/not long for this world/going the way of the beautiful roses/standing in line/and waving good-bye."

Although it's a lovely melody, the new words suck.

We all loved our comrade although he'd done wrong.

We never did find out precisely what he did that was so wrong, unless bleeding all over the street constitutes littering.

Presumably, getting shot is some sort of moral retribution for going dashing and gay as well as drinking and card playing.

Laredo is approximately 1,430 miles from Las Vegas, where you can go dashing and gay as well as drink and play cards to your heart's content. You can also hire whore gals to sing for you.

God speed, cowboys!

Those juvenile fiction authors, they watch out for each other

"I'm a big Potter fan. . . . Harry Potter is for everyone - adults and children. I think JK is brilliant, I love her. The books are clear and entertaining and smart."
--Madonna, at the premiere of the latest Harry Potter film.

"I haven't read any of the books."
--Madonna, when asked to elaborate.

This wasn't a television show. Nope. Nothing to do with any television show. Ever. Promise.

Now in pre-production. The Guardian is an "action drama" about lifeguards. The story "hinges on the tense relationship between [Kevin] Costner's veteran lifeguard and [Ashton] Kutcher's rookie rebel."

Let's hope that this is that shot in the arm that Hollywood has been longing for.

In the name of research, you understand. Research.

A Japanese businessman has just signed up to be the fourth space tourist. News reports are quoting him as justifying the flight as a research opportunity for possible future space-related business ventures.

Once the spacecraft reaches orbit, he will dress in the costume of his favorite anime character and build a model kit.

Science continues to work for you.

The London Times brings you the facts on cow tipping.

1) It's more difficult than it might seem.

2) Most people who attempt it are drunk.

The Comic Strip, Part 8 - Mr. Klaw (Mr. Vanity Klaw)

"Dirty Movie" - January 7th, 1984

Quite a while ago I thought it would be amusing to make a fake cooking show about making toast. The goal would be to make the most insufferably boring cooking show ever - have the thing actually be a half hour long and at the end we would have seen the host make one slice of toast.

(I have, at times, been accused of having too much interest in entertaining myself at the expense of my potential audience. Hello, Potential Audience!)

In order to draw this thing out to a full half hour, I needed to come up with some banter for the host to spew out as he waved bread around, not toasting it yet. So I sat down and brainstormed a bit and ended up with a list of things to banter to the camera about. The history of bread, how a toaster works, why a salutary drink in someone's honor is a toast, etc.

To my horror, this was starting to become interesting. My joke was lost forever. Nobody will ever see my boring toast video, because it was never made. (My new-found toast knowledge was not compelling enough to motivate me to make an interesting toast video.)

And so we get to "Dirty Movie." I wanted something different. Hoo Boy. This is different.

A cinema proprietor rents a "Dirty Movie" so he can watch it after hours. High-jinks ensue. The high-jinks are provided by (among other things) the local constabulary, a slapstick mailman and a pet lobster named "Breakfast."

To get to the heart of what makes this piece so different, I have to spend a little bit of time attempting to explain a small amount of comedy theory. There is a line of thought in slapstick that believes that while a person caught in a silly or uncomfortable situation might be funny in and of itself, it is when that same situation is observed by someone else that the level of humor increases. For example, if through some sort of comedy mishap I somehow end up with a toilet seat glued to my head, the visual image therein will possibly be amusing. If I then get on a crowded bus, the level of humor increases. The other people on the bus, by being sensibly not expecting a man with a toilet seat glued to his head, will react in a reasonable manner, being shocked, confused, amused, etc. The audience can then react to multiple things: First they see the reason why the strange visual has occurred so they can relate to me and my toilet seat head, then they see the reaction from the other bus riders and relate, because they understand that they would react the same way. Then they can relate to my attempts to cope with not only my toilet seat head, but also my attempts to deflect the reactions of the other passengers. The other passengers have become a knowing gaze, or the straight man to my toilet seat headed shenanigans.

In this episode there are no straight men. None. Well, perhaps Breakfast the Lobster. Everyone might as well be walking around with toilet seats on their heads and not noticing each other's toilet seat heads. This is a world where everyone is Stan Laurel, everyone is Lou Costello. It is a strange new world. And this strangeness brings me back to toast.

Remember the toast?

What I learned from the Toast Experience is that to sustain an idea for a half an hour, you can't just have a silly concept. You have to roll up your sleeves and work. If you don't, you get a half an hour of crap. Which this is not.

Despite the title, this is a rather benign (particularly compared to previous episodes) piece of television. It is well written, well constructed, the acting is consistently perfect, and after all the episodes so far, I have to say that the music here matches the mood exactly.

And then at the end it all comes to a screeching halt. Turns out that this episode seems to have been a commentary on the British Board of Film Censors' recent ramp-up in censorship activity. I hope that they were happy to have caused the climax of this episode to fall completely apart.

Oh, deer!

The New Yorker takes a look at "Scooter" Libby's Novel

oooo esss ah! oooo esss ah!

Results in from the World Beard and Mustache Competition:

Team America took the Gold in Sideburns!

That mouse has a good beat.

So I was just reading an online article about studies into the noises that mice make when they want sex. This is currently sort of a hot topic among people who like interesting noises and people who are easily amused.

I am both types of people.

Anywho, I scrolled down the article and found some links to sound files. Yes! I will listen to that hot mouse action!

So I clicked on the first sound file and then turned my volume up. The mouse had a cheesy (ar ar) disco beat. And long drawn out squeaking. I wasn't playing any music. What on earth was going on?

Turns out I still had the Beaujolais Nouveau site open, and it was trying to play music over the loud mouse moans - sort like an international anthropomorphic evening in a typically thin-walled college dorm.

It's Beaujolais Nouveau Time!

Not really.

But there's less than two weeks to go.

The official site has information about the release of the 2005 vintage as well as where you can go to celebrate (providing you are either in France or New York).

There are even helpful hints about how to pass the time by playing foosball with yourself and sending yourself voice mail messages. Then at midnight on November 16th you can start talking with other people and disco dance slowly.

And perhaps try some Beaujolais Nouveau. The last few years wine commentators have remarked that it has been starting to actually taste like wine! Can't go wrong there.

Understatement of the day.

"The visual element doesn't add anything there. If anything, it would probably subtract."

--Aaron Burcell, Podcast production expert discussing the integration of video into audio podcasts for the new video iPods, specifically The Daily Download, "a podcast in which host Chris Rockwell interviews people while on the toilet."

From Wired.

This is what you get from surfing too much

Sometimes I will find some little article, which makes me go look at another site, and then I am looking at something that is on one hand, interesting and on the other seems to exist for no other reason than to make me wonder how on Earth I managed to find my way to it.

Which is why I find myself looking at the transcript of what is considered by game show aficionados to be a particularly extra-ordinary episode of Hollywood Squares. The official reason for the interest is that the first round seems to go into a stalemate so that instead of ending at the midway point so a second round can begin, it lasts the entire half-hour.

In other words it takes two people a half an hour to play a single game of tic-tac-toe.

What I find interesting is that Gilbert Gottfried, one of the celebrity panelists, seems to be getting rather punchy.

++++++

Tom: All right, Gilbert. Here we go. . . . When she heard that Phileas Fogg had done it in 80 days, journalist Nellie Bly beat him by doing it in 72 days. What did she do?
Gilbert: Get through to the cable company. No, I know this, trust me. This is rowing the Atlantic.
David: I'm going to agree.
Gilbert: You fool!
+++++++
Tom: Gilbert, what significance does 1908 have if you are a Chicago Cubs fan?
Gilbert: That's the year you were in Chicago. Okay. It's the last perfect pitched game.
(David hesitates, causing everyone to laugh)
David: I'm going to agree.
Gilbert and Penn: You fool!
+++++++
Valerie: Gilbert Gottfried for the win.
Tom: For the win, yes.
Gilbert: You fool!
Tom: All right, Gilbert. Steve Austin. Steve Austin is a big, bad professional wrestler fully known as...?
Gilbert: Tubby. No, I know this one, 'cause I used to wrestle with Steve Austin. The Crusher.
Tom: The Crusher.
Valerie: I'll agree.
Gilbert: You fool!

Just write your own cold stethoscope joke here.

The Comic Strip, Part 7 - Fish Confetti

"Five Go Mad on Mescalin" - November 2, 1983

How do you start the second season of a show that has a format that is so wide-reaching and flexible that an episode can be literally about anything? You go back and re-make the first episode of the first season, that's how. And so here, again, we see the Famous Five spun as a pack of proto-children, stomping through the countryside, making life safer for what Orwell referred to as the lower-upper-middle class.


So as this is a sequel episode, I'll give a sequel review.

In the prior review, I mentioned that after years of attempting to find the actual books, I married someone who actually had a stack of them, waiting for me. (There are many other ways that I have completely lucked out due to this relationship... but, I digress.)

So taking advantage of this long-awaited opportunity, I sat down with "Five go to Mystery Moor." The plot involves Gypsies, and all the queer things they get up to, some of which might be illegal, or at least, very queer indeed. If I tell you any more about the plot, I run the risk of giving away the ending. It was, all told, almost exactly as had been advertised, although I was slightly disappointed that it wasn't a touch more Sydney Horler.

The one thing that I wasn't prepared for was a little subplot going on in the background. As you may recall, one of the five is a young girl whose tomboyish attitudes manifest themselves in amongst other things, her manner of dress and her decision to change her name from Georgina to George. As the book begins, the five are encamped at a riding school along with another young girl who is equally as tomboyish as George, down to her decision to use the name Henry instead of Henrietta. Three of the other four find it very strange that the two tomboys seem to dislike each other (we gain no insight into what opinion Timmy the dog might have). My read on their behavior is slightly different.

To my eye, Henry and George gave off the strongest sense of inevitable bonking I've seen in children's literature since Harry Potter hauled Ginney Weasley out of the septic system. Sure enough, by the end of the book, the two are discovered to have become firm friends.

Good for them.

In some of the reading I've seen about these books, I've learned that Enid Blyton based the character of George on herself.

Good for her as well.

The reason for bringing this up is so I can have a quick dance around the subtexts that this episode sees fit to pound us over the head with. The difference between this episode and the previous one seems to lie in the amount of reality creeping into the surroundings. The first one exists in a hermetically sealed 1952ish world where the Five are in their element. Here, the supporting characters are a mix of past and modern (the large, bearded thug was in a zoot suit in the first one, but here he's in one of those mesh nylon muscle suit that they were nattering about on a recent "I Love The Eighties") knowing and unknowing (the innkeeper can say a line like "Please don't wave that tempting wad [of money] in my face, Mr. Budweiser" without betraying any knowledge of innuendo, but is also capable of propositioning the two boys). The humor is more blatant, as the envelope gets pushed a little further - they even play their hand when Julian makes a comment about how the Nazis weren't that bad ("at least they didn't leave gum wrappers all over the place").

The one thing that doesn't come up is George and her tendencies. Why not? After everything else, is this somehow sacrosanct? Or did it just somehow never occur to them?

I call her my telephone dream girl. It's practically weird.

Looking at this incredibly detailed deconstruction of cult fave cartoon short "One Froggy Evening" (the one where a guy finds a singing frog, but can't cash in on it because it only sings when nobody else is around), I see that the song that everyone remembers (the one that goes "hello, my baby, hello my darling, hello my ragtime gal" etc) is actually a song called "The Telephone Rag." Dating from 1899, it is one of the first times the telephone is mentioned in a popular song.

The Comic Strip, Supplemental - My cookie will have to wait a little longer

There's going to be a new Comic Strip episode, to be broadcast this Christmas.

The Comic Strip, part 6 - A quick one while we're away

"Back to Normal with Eddie Monsoon (a.k.a. An Evening with Eddie Monsoon)" - never broadcast

This one is not on the complete DVD, because it does not exist. Apparently.

The script was published in a Comic Strip Presents companion book, but this seems to have gone out of print. Apparently.

Eddie Monsoon was to have been played by Adrian Edmonson (Ed Monsoon=Edmonson, get it?) as a sort of Dangerous Brothers meets Springer talkshow thing. Apparently.

Speculation as to why it was never produced revolves around the content being too offensive and/or libelous to get past the network censors and/or lawyers.

Apparently.

Insufficient Data

In anticipation of the upcoming re-appearence of Sarah-Jane and K9 in the upcoming season of Doctor Who, the folks at Behind the Sofa Again are having a look back at the duo's ill-fated spin-off attempt, K9 and Company.

It doesn't seem to be going all that well. They can't get all the way through the theme song without having to invent a drink involving Jack Daniels.

You can listen to the theme here, in case you are quite bold.

I'm sure that Torchwood will have a better theme. With lyrics about sex and Aquaman.