Poking through the Complete New Yorker

Santa was kind enough to bring The Complete New Yorker to the house this past week, and while a bit interfacially clunky, is giving up a lot of very interesting tidbits. To close up the new year, here are a couple.

First, have a look at this ad, and see how much things have changed since the late thirties. She's smoking on a plane, wearing a fur, and there's no security. These were the days when folks got all dressed up to ride a plane, and she's taking it seriously. Notice that she not only has a hat to match her dress, but her dress and hat match the TWA logo on the plane. Note also that this is a "Lindbergh Line" plane. In the thirties, TWA hired Lindbergh as an advisor for their transcontinental service, and as part of the deal, all of the transcontinental planes had that designation - a deal that fell apart when Lindbergh became recognized as a Nazi sympathizer.



And in another direction, here's a couple of little reviews for someone that I hope to mention more in depth in the coming year:

The Comic Strip, Part 15 - In it for the money

"The Supergrass" - Feature Film, 1985

I decided to go have a rummage and dig out my old cassette tape of Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "Welcome to the Pleasuredome." The album came out when I was in High School and it was the most brilliant thing that was ever created from the beginning of time. The thing that was so brilliant was that between the songs there was all of this stuff: monologues about nuclear war, Orchestral fiddley-bits, some guy yelling "The world is my oyster! Wahhhh-hayy-yaya." It was just sheer top-down classy.

What I somehow didn't realize at the time was that the good bits was all the stuff between the songs. When the songs started proper, we all started jumping up and down, and for all anyone cared, the band could have done three minutes of arm-farts with a back beat, because the ramp-up was so brilliant.


One of the best moments in "The Supergrass" starts with Robbie Coltrane walking across the beach. It is wonderfully shot on a windy, blustery day. The waves are crashing, and there's this incredible background music playing. As Robbie Coltrane walks out onto the jetty, the water beating on him in this incredible set piece, I finally figured out what I was listening to as the music resolved into Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "Two Tribes." And as this amazing shot was unfolding, I had to think to myself: "Man, this song really isn't that good, is it?"

We have two seasons under our belts, time to venture forth onto the big screen. I'm not sure how the Comic Strip crew got the green light, but I'm sure that they were delighted for the opportunities that the jump provided. The story of the film: Dennis Carter is a chronic liar. In the process of pretending to be involved with a drug ring so he can impress a girl, he is overheard by some police officers who take his tale seriously. One bluff leads to another, and Dennis has now become a well paid informant, even though he doesn't have any concrete information to share. He is given a sportscar, a big wad of cash, and two undercover cops to pose as his friend and girlfriend, and sent to Devon to wait for the big shipment of drugs that he invented. When it transpires that there really is a drug smuggling ring waiting for a shipment of drugs, wackiness ensues.

Well, moderated wackiness. Nobody seems to be much of a threat to anyone. Even the actual drug smugglers who manage to really actually kill someone in a threatening, scary way, come across as being not terribly dangerous. The protagonists (Ade Edmonson as the "Supergrass," Jennifer Saunders as Lesley, the cop posing as his girlfriend, and Peter Richardson as the other cop, who is in love with Lesley and has to watch them sort of pretend to be a couple) are straight to the point of being overly bland. It seems almost like they were afraid of being too broad, and decided to err on the side of sweet. They take advantage of the ratings freedom to throw in a light smattering of swearing and nudity, but it's all rather (if you'll pardon the phrase) half-assed. It's like watching a bunch of high school kids doing Mamet and realizing halfway through that Grandma is in the audience. The plot too - it feels like they didn't trust it to actually go anywhere. Apart from the two cops realizing that they are, in fact, in love with each other, there is nothing that feels like any sort of climax.

The one thing that they take advantage of well is the set pieces. The opening scene of Dennis coming ashore, the Robbie Coltrane on the jetty sequence, the bit where they get pulled over by Alexi Sayle's motorcycle cop (and I'm amazed that it's taken this long to see him show up in one of these - glad to finally see him here). It's these little images and shots that the whole series has done well, and it is great to see that they have an opportunity to take their time and really let some of them come together. But ultimately it is a lot like that Frankie Goes to Hollywood album. All the interstitial bits are wonderful, and the actual meat that it's supposed to hang on is, in retrospect, a bit crap.

Another opportunity that they had was to put together a soundtrack album, so the film is definitely nailed down to its era. At one point Dennis takes Lesley to a town hall dance; he is dressed in a replica of the jacket that Michael Jackson wore in the "Beat It" video, she's wearing a "Frankie say Relax" shirt, and they get out of the car as "Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick" starts up. I'd like to think that they were doing a piss-take, but they're just so sincere.

not to mention the possibilities for comic mayhem

>Let us say that you live in an upper story apartment (or condo). One that is rather downscale, so you do not have some of the amenities that a more deluxe apartment (or condo) might have. For instance, a balcony.

In centuries past, your only options would be to either visit a friend and covetously enjoy their balcony, or sit forlornly in your downscale apartment (or condo) cursing the ceiling over your head and looking out the window at the wide open space that you might wish your balcony to occupy.

No Longer!

As an answer to your cabin-feverish prayers comes "The Rein Raus Serial Space Extension." Just bolt it to your window and you can enjoy the sensation of sitting on your very own balcony.

To be more precise, you will be hauled out of the window on a giant motorized spatula.

Be sure to notice the fine print, which helpfully points out that as the "structure" is only temporarily outside of your private dwelling, its use "lies outside the defined possibilities for formal objection available to property owners, neighbours and regulatory authorities."

The more things change, part one

We were having a happy rewatch of the DVD of Sullivan's Travels and decided to go through the extras.

Nestled in the middle was a radio interview with Preston Sturges about the state of the film industry. Asked why Hollywood was having a horrible financial crisis and how to reverse it, Sturges responded that the biggest problem with the moviegoing experience is that the audience is treated poorly for the amount of money that they have to shell out for tickets - either lower ticket prices or make the experience more pleasant (if not both), and the audiences will return.

This interview was done in 1951.

Oh, and I'd like to take a moment to thank Sullivan's Travels for something else:

Got on a lucky one, came in eighteen to one

The Christmas Single turns out to have been "That's My Goal" by Shayne Ward. Ward's website is sharing the news that it was a massive landslide - and notes that downloads are now counted in the chart tally. You can see the video for the song on his website. It is made up of clips from his run on The X factor. I desperately want to say something cruel, but every time I try I feel like I'm pistol-whipping a bunny.

I see that a re-release of The Pogues' "Fairytale of New York" jumped onto the charts at number four. I'm happy to see that.

Last minute stocking stuffer idea

Cheetos lip balm.

More Christmas Hits

The odds on favorite for the UK Christmas single has been "the winner of X Factor." X Factor seems to be the current incarnation of Pop Idol (or American Idol) - so it is an interesting situation in that an almost unknown quantity is the front runner.

Shayne Ward was voted the winner on December 17th, and his single "That's My Goal" was released yesterday. I have not heard it, but I imagine that it sounds much like everything else that wins those shows.

Currently at number one on the charts is a sentimental favorite (and second place in the booking odds). The band Nizlopi has re-released their summertime hit "JCB" which is (as I understand it) about a boy going for a ride on his father's backhoe. I haven't heard this particular song either, but going by the songs available to listen to on their site, it's a good one. They seem to be one of those bands that are intelligent, talented, love music in all forms, and are far too clever for their own good.

The Comic Strip, Addendum - dubba dubba dubba cha

The Bad News Album - released sometime in the eighties. Apparently.

When I was in high school, a friend of mine went off on a trip to Australia and the Orient for summer vacation. Upon his return, the souvenir that surpassed all else from his long and eventful journey was a cassette tape. This was an illegal knock-off of some top-40 hair band that he picked up in a market somewhere for the equivalent of fifty cents. The thing that was so enticing about this (apart from the cachet of illegal-ness) is that the folks who made the tape added a track to the beginning - two minutes of a jet taking off. In stereo. So it started rumbling off way over in the right speaker and went "ne-e-e-e-e-Yowwwwww" through the room. Or, if you were using headphones, your head. And then Foreigner 4, or whatever the tape was, started, and we would shut it off, rewind and listen to the jet again.

In a number of places, The Bad News Album reminds me of that tape.

The conceit of the album is that the band last seen in the Bad News Tour episode has somehow been given a recording contract and is now in the studio attempting to cut their first album.

We hear some finished tunes that are hilariously over-produced - laden with sound effects of motorcycles gunning, horses galloping and so forth - the sort of thing that sounds cool when you're hanging out at three in the morning and you want to pass the headphones around and listen to the jet again.

We also hear a lot of them talking between takes. This stuff is utterly spot on. I'm not sure how much of this is improvised, but it feels exactly like the tapes that get passed around between recording engineers of bands that are thoroughly out of their depth attempting to create their vision (the tape of the Troggs in the studio trying to get the drummer to do what the lead singer wants him to comes to mind) or bands that are using the studio as a venue of discovery, in particular the discovery that they want nothing to do with each other (There's a hilarious moment in The Monkees' Headquarters Sessions where Peter and Mike are fervently discussing the folk scene with one of the engineers, while Davy tries futilely to interrupt with his thoughts on the new Wayne Newton album.) The discussion of their contract is particularly amusing - they argue about how the cash is distributed while ignoring the fact that they are supposed to pay for the studio time that they are burning up while arguing.

A moment of absolute comic joy comes during their attempt at "Bohemian Rhapsody" where Brian May (who produced the album) gets to dismantle his own guitar solo. You can feel every awful cover he had ever heard being exorcised. It is spectacularly, wonderfully horrible.

The whole thing ends with their attempt at a Christmas single. As it comes at an appropriate time of the year, and is stuck playing in my head, it merits a mention. "It's Christmas. Let's open a four-pack and snog." God bless us, every one.

And so this is Christmas.

One of the kerjillion plot points in "Love Actually" is the drive for musical acts to score a number one single in the UK charts on Christmas. Mindful of this, I had a little rummage around to see what sorts of things might be rocketing up the charts over there this year.

First up, The Baarmy Sheep, who are baa-ing to the tune of "Jingle Bells." You can go to their site and see their video as well as downloading their "megamix." They are particularly interested in showing higher on the charts than The Crazy Frog, who also is doing "Jingle Bells" as, um, his single this year. Note that you can purchase a limited edition full-length Crazy Frog Christmas CD which includes festive seasonal fare as "Last Christmas," "Wonderland," and the theme from "Dallas."

It transpires that The Baarmy Sheep are a creation of the Lake District Tourist Board, where they might have a bit too much time on their hands. Still, I'd like to put my money on the Sheep. They might be a trifle annoying, but I have to say that The Crazy Frog just flat out gives me the creeps.

Currently (as of December 18th), The Crazy Frog was far ahead at number 5.

My hopes for a new scooter are dashed.

The new word for edible kangaroo meat is australus.

How appetizing.

The best podcast I've ever heard

I've been listening to a few podcasts here and there, and I have to say that most of them are sort of dismal affairs. Even the professional ones can be a trifle annoying - why do NPR podcasts have to keep interjecting station idents that say "you are listening to an NPR podcast" every two minutes.

They Might Be Giants has launched a promotional podcast, and I have to say it's the best thing I've heard them do in over a decade. The host is not one of the band, but somebody named Cecil Portesque (googling the name only seems to pull up people talking about the podcast) who manages to capture the essence of every single first-time amateur podcaster: "well, I guess it's raining outside" he says, in a voice that sounds like the song ended before he could put away his bag of potato chips.

The gold is in the TMBG tracks themselves - played straight through, not just excerpts - particularly a gob-smacking cover of "It Was a Very Good Year" and a segment on "wild turtle calls of North America."

Susan?

This showed up on Forbes.net. I'm copying the text in full because it might disappear

AFX News Limited
WTO MEETING - Narnia walks out of talks; says tired of EU, US 'bullying'
12.18.2005, 07:16 AM

HONG KONG (AFX) - The independent state of Narnia has walked out of trade negotiations here, citing pressure from the European Union and the US to enforce liberalization of its garment-related sector.
Narnian spokeswoman Susan Aslan said in a statement that delegates 'were tired of bullying by EU and US delegations and would be returning immediately to their state capital at Cair Parvel.'
'If this brings the Hong Kong talks to the knees we will be delighted. Many other delegates told us they are sick of the eternal Lamy winter and are longing for a new trade spring,' Aslan said.
The walkout was a first in this round of talks, and follows a similar move by some developing country delegates at the Cancun summit two years ago, the statement said.

Last night I was down in the lab

Yesterday afternoon actually.

The Pinot Noir is ready for bottling - It has a bunch of tastes running around in it like a bunch of happy puppies. It should settle down in the bottle and come together into some really good wine.

My experiment with tyttebaer (lingonberry or cowberry) wine is about ready for bottling as well, I think. Tyttebaer is a very cranberryish sort of fruit and it is coming out quite dry. I might end up blending it with something, or a bunch of things.

Finally, I started some malbec. The starting gravity was off the charts. This means a ton of sugar, and that means it will end up on the sweet side, or it will have a bit of a kick to it.

Last night I was down in the lab

Yesterday afternoon actually.

The Pinot Noir is ready for bottling - It has a bunch of tastes running around in it like a bunch of happy puppies. It should settle down in the bottle and come together into some really good wine.

My experiment with tyttebaer (lingonberry or cowberry) wine is about ready for bottling as well, I think. Tyttebaer is a very cranberryish sort of fruit and it is coming out quite dry. I might end up blending it with something, or a bunch of things.

Finally, I started some malbec. The starting gravity was off the charts. This means a ton of sugar, and that means it will end up on the sweet side, or it will have a bit of a kick to it.

The Comic Strip, Part 14.5 - You know those cartoons where the guy has the little angel talking in one ear and the little devil talking in the other?

So I was looking for information on The Professionals.

During my searching, I find my way to a fan site dedicated to Martin Shaw (He played "Ray Doyle.")

I click around the site and find a newspaper article transcription:

Why I risked violence to rescue two dying ducks from their farmyard hell (2001)
Actor Martin Shaw reveals how he and his wife Vicky were mistaken for Animal Rights activists when they broke into a duck farm

I've been trying to search my gut and figure out if I find it touching or hilarious. It isn't often that I find something that seems exactly halfway in between.

The Comic Strip, Part 14 - "/"

"The Bullshitters: Roll out the Gunbarrel" - November 3, 1984

This episode has an entry in the ITV Encyclopedia of Adventure, which is the first place I heard of it. I've not seen it until now, but I've known about it for fifteenish years now. So I knew what was coming. A spoof of The Professionals. I've barely seen The Professionals, so I was figuring that I would have to do some research into the show to help inform my analysis of this episode. I think I've seen one episode of The Professionals in my life. I recall finding it to be almost stupefyingly dull - but in the name of blogging I prepared for the worst.


I lucked out.

I get to talk about Star Trek for a bit instead.

After Star Trek was cancelled, fans of the show began writing stories continuing the series for their own entertainment. Many of these stories were designed to flesh out ideas that some of the fans had about the show. Some of those ideas were of a nature that the creators of the show had not intended, or even considered for a moment. Of those, a surprisingly popular idea was that Kirk and Spock were, in fact, gay lovers. Thus was a genre born, and that genre was called "slash" for the "/" from "Kirk/Spock." The genre expanded to other shows, was parodied, those parodies were taken seriously and now you can find everything from Shakespearian characters to Rocky and Bullwinkle having at it.

I've not read too much slash in my life, but this is it. And I mean that not only in the most basic sense - the "oooh they're gay" sense, but also because the whole episode is just a setup to get the two of them to kiss. The other day, I was flipping through the channels, and found a decade old episode of Law and Order. In the course of the episode, the cops du jour got the chance to look at a computer and marvel at the brave new world of dial-up modems and text-based bulletin boards. I had the same feeling watching that as I did watching this - time had passed. The shocking and strange is now commonplace. It's become a cliche for me to note that the sting has gone out of some of these episodes. This time, I'm actually rather glad of it.

Well of course

This has been making the rounds, but it still makes for an interesting read:

A story Nov. 15 about mathematical references on "The Simpsons" TV show mistakenly said that 1,782 to the 12th power plus 1,841 to the 12th power equals 1,922 to the 12th power. Actually, 1,782 to the 12th power plus 1,841 to the 12th power equals 2,541,210,258,614, 589,176,288, 669, 958, 142, 428, 526,657, while 1,922 to the 12th power equals 2,541,210,259,314,801,410, 819, 278,649, 643,651,567,616.

Read the story behind the correction here

TV roundup.

TV Squad is on the heels of some big breaking news.

• Might Arrested Development be going to Showtime or ABC? They checked their sources who all said "No Comment."
• A spoiler for an upcoming episode of ER: "A fairly major character is going to get shot." So we're going to be plowing into some virgin territory there.

It's December, do you know where your Winter Olympics are?

The 2006 Winter Olympics will be in the city that English speaking population of the world calls Turin, Italy. The official logo has the word "Torino" on it, because the Italian word for "Turin" is "Torino."

Journalists are finding this confusing. <

awwww.

Once upon a time, there was a fellow who was bored while waiting for a London Tube train. With little else to do, he took to staring at the Tube Map and noticed that you can trace some of the lines to make an elephant. A hobby was born.

Now you can go to his Animals on the Underground site and look at the animals, play games, even buy merchandise. I have to say that some of these are quite beautiful: the "bird in flight" is particularly fine (some others are a bit of a stretch - the flamingo looks a little too much like Quincy the Iguana from FoxTrot for my liking. Of course, I can be particular about my flamingos).

I'm most taken with this one as not only did he (or one of his posse - you can join his club and find your own) find a dog, he found a Thurber Dog!


I also like how it looks like the dog is playing with the underground logo.

Top this, Springsteen!

Let us suppose that you are a fan of a musical artist.

And you have a ton of money.

You can't buy a CD from the artist, you've bought them all. All the boxed sets? Got 'em. Some DVD's? Already on the shelf - every single one.

How about a new release of a DVD box set - you already have it, but let's do a limited edition in a solid gold case? No. That would be silly. Why should you buy another copy of a DVD set you already own?

Here's what we'll do: Instead of a DVD box set in a solid gold case, how about a solid gold replica of the DVD box set? That wouldn't be at all silly, now would it? Engaget reports that it'll run you about $415,000. Here's a link to the store, but it's in Japanese.

What might of entertainment the lowly cucumber yield

Gadling (a Travel news clearinghouse blog) is reporting that there are (at least) two separate communities ringing in 2006 by dropping an oversized illuminated pickle.

Meanwhile, it seems that the BBC will be celebrating Christmas by blowing up a Gherkin.

The Comic Strip, Part 13.5 - Hey! Look who just showed up!

It's Emma Thompson!


And there! It's Anthony Stewart Head!

The Comic Strip, Part 13 - This is not your father's post-apocalypse

"Slags" - February 11, 1984

Wow.

Holy Flipping Wow.

I was having trouble pulling stills from "The Beat Generation" because there were so many excellent shots - I ended up throwing in the towel and just grabbing one at random. This is the same deal. Every shot - every moment is perfect. Iconic. Wow.

The story takes place in a run-down, blade runner type of near-future. We can tell this because the protagonists are all dudded up in New-Romantic era post-punk club gear, and because it is filmed in London's South Bank - where every British produced vision of a rundown near-future was filmed from the late sixties to the early nineties. Passion (Dawn French - we know her better now as "The Vicar of Dibley") and Little Sister (Jennifer Saunders - we know her better now as "Edina Monsoon" (familiar name...) on Absolutely Fabulous) are released from prison (The Bankside power station - we know it better now as The Tate Modern). Before they were put away, they were the leaders of The Slags, who controlled the area with their naughty post-punk mayhem. While they were away, The Slags went their separate ways and a new gang came in to take over; The Hawaiians.

That's right. Flower shirt, cocoanut umbrella drinks, ukulele music. Hawaiians.

The Slags regroup and challenge The Hawaiians to a rumble, but the night before, Ricki, the leader of the Hawaiians and Little Sister fall in love - leading to the inevitable tragic conclusion.

Post-apocalyptic visions were big in the eighties - Mad Max and all that - it was some sort of comfort that as the world fell apart, us young whippersnappers could adapt with it. One of the scenes in this episode was filmed in a well known street in Shad Thames. This is a group of Victorian-era warehouses that have a complex series of bridges connecting them. Almost from the moment this area was created, it was known as a bit dodgy sort of a place, and into the eighties the long-abandoned buildings only found use as a film location. Now it has been yuppified. The once empty buildings now contain spacious (and expensive) condos, art galleries, design firms and posh restaurants. Entropy works in ways more complicated than one might have imagined.

We've ratcheted ourselves far beyond the classy area

As part of the ongoing marketing push for the new Narnia movie, there is now a clergy-based product placement opportunity.

The deal is this - deliver a sermon based on the film (or book, if you must) and submit the transcript or outline to the contest site. Your sermon may be chosen at random to win a trip to England to take a CS Lewis related package tour!

You also get $1,000 pin money.

How to raise blog awareness

Japundit had a post about a new Japanese "Blog Promotion committee" naming an official spokesperson - It seems that the Japanese, while happy to read blogs by others are hesitant to start and maintain their own - and this committee (which seems to be sponsored by one or more blog hosting sites) seeks to change all that.

But that isn't what caught my eye.

What caught my eye is the URL of the committee, featured on the wall behind the spokesperson pictured here:

The Comic Strip, Part 12 - That's sugar cane that tasted good. That's cinnamon. That's Hollywood.

"Eddie Monsoon, a Life" - February 4, 1984

Frankly, I wasn't looking forward to seeing this one.

Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmonson have two themes that they are drawn to time and again:

1) Fame and the horrible emotional toil that it takes out on a person - both when they are trying to achieve it (Filthy Rich and Catflap), and when they have it and are attempting to keep it (Rik Mayall Presents: Micky Love)

2) People being horrifically awful. (The Dangerous Brothers, Filthy Rich and Catflap, Bottom)

I wasn't opposed to either of those things either as themes or coming from them, it was more of a sense of "Oh great. Here they go again."

I've found much of the time I've spent on this adventure to be amusing - but I didn't realize until this one ended that this was the first time I've actually laughed out loud at one.


As you might recall, the last episode of the first season was withdrawn because the jokes therein were deemed too slanderous or violent or obscene. Apparently.

This episode ("A Life") is about what seems to have been the fallout from that episode's ("Back to Normal") cancellation. It is unclear to me how much "A Life" refers to "Back to Normal." We see a clip, but was it shot for the original episode? Was it shot for the new episode from the original script? Is it a complete fabrication? Likewise, there is a news clipping - real or fake? I've been keeping away from the extras, so that I can see the episodes without background info. Hopefully this will be the only episode that causes a great deal of regret for that stance.

"A Life" plays like an episode of "This is David Lander" (a show which is sadly unavailable on DVD) in that the documentary style is pitch-perfect. A stand out moment is the clip of Monsoon's ill fated children's show. The cliche of the children's entertainer who hates kids is an old and well used one, but this version cannot be topped - it ends with him dropping the sock puppets and actually firing a pistol at the children. First of all this is inexplicably somehow funny. Secondly, it begs the question: If Channel 4 let this on, what on Earth was in the episode that had to be pulled?

The Christmas ideas just keep rolling in

The "Late Show Bear" suit is up for sale. Only $9,500.

I think I'd rather have a glass of the dog beer, thanks

Coke is releasing yet another flavor variety: Coca-Cola Blak.

Coca-Cola Blak is Classic Coke mixed with coffee. The word "Blak" is either a corruption of the word "black" as in "black coffee," or the sound that you will make after having a sip.

It will be debuting in France.

My dog likes carrots, so what do I know?

These folks went camping with their dog and discovered that he enjoyed knocking over their beers and licking it off of the ground. So what do they invent?

I would invent a beer container that can't be knocked over by a dog.

They invented Beer For Dogs! It's non-alcoholic! It isn't carbonated! It's flavored with beef and fortified with Glucosamine and Vitamin E!

Yum!

I tip my hat to my betters.

I'd like to take a moment to put up some links to blogs that I've been enjoying quite a bit lately.

I am several sorts of nerd. One of the sorts that I am particularly galled to be is a transit nerd. Going Underground's Blog is piles of cool info about the London Underground past and present. And look! There might be another tube strike!

World of Kane looks at 1960s space-pop designs. Heavy on imagery. Heavier on coolness. He looks at Doctor Who for the music, The Avengers for the costumes, and Space:1999 for the furniture.

Locust St. is the sort of thing that I dream that I could put together. Long, detailed, well thought out posts drawing upon a wide scope of knowledge - music, history, art, pop culture, you name it - this blog pulls it all together into long, interesting, well thought out posts. Currently "Judge Parker" is riffing on the "7 Drinks of Mankind," most recently, wine.

The Comic Strip, Part 11 - I guess my race is run

"Gino: Full Story and Pics" - January 28, 1984

From the first shot of the episode, handsome young Gino is being chased by police. As he continues to be for the duration of the episode. As he runs from place to place he hooks up with attractive young Fiona and interact with various individuals who try to use Gino's status as a fugitive from justice to achieve their own ends.

Another new one for me. The first time through this one it almost seemed like they were playing it straight. The reason for this is that the once again this is the product of its time. What plays as edgy and cynical in the same month as Reagan's second inaugural, is now, after a parade of movies like Natural Born Killers, almost demure.

No sign of the mesh shirt, but this is the second time this season that Rik Mayall is in a wheelchair, so it has that going for it.

Just how badly do I want a new HDTV?

Verizon is holding a contest for novice lugers. It is on what they call a "simulated track" using what they call "plastic replicas of the real luge ice sleds." Real Olympic Luge champions will be on hand to offer tips, cheer you on, and perhaps even shake your hand. I'm hoping for an appearance by my long-standing (or sitting) luge hero, Georg Hackl.

I did a quick search to see if Hackl will be competing in the upcoming Winter Olympics, to extend his record to medalling in six consecutive Olympics (he is currently the only winter olympian to medal in five). No word so far, but I see that he has branched out. The past two years he came in first place in the individual "wok race" where people slide down a hill while sitting in a wok.

I love the smell of cab sav in the morning

The Niebaum-Coppola Winery has just come out with an Apocalypse Now wine. It comes in a three liter bottle, and when you fiddle with the bottle's bottom a little drawer flips out, revealing a DVD of the movie!

Price - $200.

Breaking the price down, that's the equivalent of four 750ml bottles at $36 each, plus a $12 DVD without a case. Total - $156.

So $44 for a strange bottle/DVD holder that won't fit in your DVD case. Cool!

My, this is the super-finest screwdriver In The World!

Donald Trump is introducing a new line of vodka named after himself. After a week of reports that it will be called "Trump Vodka," we now learn the real official title.

"Trump: The World's Finest Super Premium Vodka"

It's just that sort of day

The Comic Strip, Part 10 - And if our bones bleach on the desert, we'll consider we are blessed

"A Fistfull of Traveler's Cheques" - January 21, 1984

I've never understood why, but I've always thought of this as somehow the quintessential episode. It's no surprise to find that the package design of the box set is almost entirely based on the "bomb drop" opening, except for the back which is based on imagery from this episode. (Now watch as it turns out that there are variant boxes with backs based on other episodes - collect them all!)

First of all there is the look of the episode. This season looks like it has a larger budget, and this one is particularly fine -- shot entirely on film, on location in Spain. If I were a much bigger Spaghetti Western buff, I'm sure I would be spending hours digging to see if the locations and camera angles match up to the films that inspired this.

Next there are the characters, at once incomprehensible, but also completely recognizable. These are the sorts of people that you actually run into from time to time. You can sort of understand what they're on about, but at the same time you can't quite figure out how serious they are about who they are presenting themselves to be and what they're trying to do with their lives. Nigel Planer's hitchhiker is the sort of looney that you actually run into from time to time, one of those guys that makes you think, "well, I can just sort of flow with this for a while - he can't possibly be this bizarre once I get to know him." And then it takes about four minutes to realize that he is, for whatever reason, so blindingly annoying that you don't want to find out anymore. Ade Edmonson's crazed matador guy is also, while a broad caricature, somehow very much like real people whom I've tried very hard to stay clear of in various drinking establishments and mass transit systems.

And into this melange strides "Carlos" and "Miguel," a pair of Englishmen on a semi-crazed search for some sort of wild west experience. They seem to be two decent guys daring each other to be obnoxious. I think the best part of the episode is watching them react to each other, somehow egging themselves on and getting frustrated that they have already pushed their game too far.

Try to remember the November header

Frequent eagle-eyed visitors will notice the header has again been changed.

The previous one ("You can't fight off an army of bloodthirsty Vikings with a shehnai. It's illogical.") came from the tepid yet somewhat heartwarming John Cusack vehicle, Serendipity. I have to give Sepia Mutiny credit for transcribing the quote and identifying the shehnai (silly me - I had presumed that John Corbett was playing a soprano sax, Kenny G-like).

It seems that they caught a repeat of this film at the same time I did, and although they weren't too hot on the film itself, were particularly taken with the quote - they referred to it as a "little fudge cake of brilliance." Which might end up being the next header I slap up there.

I thought she was dead!

Variety is reporting that Beverly Cleary has just signed off on deal to have her "classic" children's books filmed.

Susan Katz, prexy [president] of HarperCollins kid division, said, "As Beverly Cleary turns 90, it's the ideal time to reintroduce Ramona Quimby -- and all of Mrs. Cleary's other memorable characters -- to a new generation of young people."

How do you "reintroduce" something to "a new generation?"

Sort of like how Batman and the Joker created each other

This past Sunday, Doonesbury alluded to a hazing incident at Yale that occurred in 1967 (when both Trudeau and George W Bush were students). Interestingly, this article implies that Trudeau's first published cartoon (In the Yale Daily News) was about this same incident. So had Bush gone to Harvard for his Undergrad, Doonesbury might never have existed...

It's that creaky loom of destiny at work.

Never underestimate the power of magic

A friend posted one of those clever "What kind of fictional blah-blah are you" generators based on the Harry Potter universe. I'm always up for a challenge.

My results:

House:Ravenclaw
Wand:Mahogany, 10", Veela Hair
Best Course:Potions
Worst Course:Care of Magical Creatures
Pet:Spectacled Owl
Patronus:Kangaroo
Quidditch Job:Commentator
Wizard Candy:Bertie Botts every Flavour Beans (Mmm! Toenail!)
Profession After School:Hogwarts Professor

Note the Patronus -- It's a sign! I'm sure to get that scooter now!

Just fire up your patronus
and grab yourself a bun
squirt a splash of relish
and it's Hoppy-Roteen fun!

Civilization on the march

Fewer people are going hunting. Experts blame violent video games.

New horizons in marketing

Producers of packaged kangaroo meat have a problem. Nobody wants to buy kangaroo meat. Solution?

Call the meat something else. But what?

Here's where you come in: They are now holding a contest for the best new name to call their edible kangaroo product! Win a scooter!

My entry: "Hoppy-roteen."

I'll let you know when I get my scooter.

The Comic Strip, Addendum. - I'm nothing if not detail oriented!

During the course of the "Five Go Mad on Mescalin" episode, I notice that Ron Tarr is wearing a ripped mesh shirt.


I notice the mesh shirt, because I had recently seen an episode of I Love the '80's where mesh shirts are discussed. So here's a mesh shirt. (someone says "plate of fish," you see an ad for "a plate of fish").

Later on in the episode, Candy Davis is wearing the same mesh shirt.


This makes sense to me because the episode implies that they are likely to be having sex, and Ron Tarr has changed into his thug suit, so why not?

As I am watching "Susie," I notice a character wearing a ripped mesh shirt. Where, I think to myself, have I seen that?

So I'm watching the next episode to review ("A Fistful of travelers' Cheques") and look:


I haven't had a chance to go through "Susie" so I don't have a screen grab from that one yet, but I promise to keep up on this amazing development.

UPDATE:

It wasn't a mesh shirt in "Susie." It was a t-shirt with an interesting pattern on it. It's a funny old world.

Hello Television Futurists!

An interesting article about the influence of current technologies on the television production industry here.

From the letters pages of Vanity Fair

[In the story about Paris Hilton, her sister] Nicky Hilton asked, "I'm 21 years old, I run two multi-million-dollar companies, I work my ass off. Like, what were you doing that was so fucking important at that age?" I would like to repond to that. When I was 21, I was busy working toward my Ph.D. in organic chemistry at the University of Minnesota. I was the first to synthesize the compound okadaic acid -- shown to be the leading cause of breast cancer.

- Steven F. Sabes
Wayzata, Minnesota

Thank you, BoingBoing!

Arrested Development Post-Mortem

Variety looks at the upcoming last days of the Bluths.

They're going out fighting. Or at least making fun of themselves.

Just think. It could be worse.

"We weren't going for the bombastic. Even the promotions themselves are not overhyped in the way that sometimes promotions can be. Everything is sort of notched up a degree in the classy area."

--Brett Dicker, Buena Vista Pictures executive VP of marketing discusses the subtle, low key advertising campaign currently underway for the new Narnia film.

Empty advertising dare of the month

"Drama, mind-reading and Tori Spelling -- don't you dare miss it!"

-ad copy for Lifetime Movie/Pilot Mind Over Murder

You thought I was crazy for wanting to go somewhere to drive along a ramp?

This guy went to upper Norway to see the Northern Lights.

And while he was there he did some surfing.

Next we shall cover our news with copious amounts of dill

Andreas Viestad will be returning for the next season of New Scandinavian Cooking.

Among other things, he'll be making "Norwegian style sushi."

This one's for you, Mom.

One of the stories that I recall hearing about the trip to Europe that my parents took in their youth regards my mother's enthusiasm when she discovered that their driving plan took them across the border between a country where cars drove on the left side of the road to one where they drove on the right.

Being a clever person with the heart and soul of an engineer, she set about wondering how the switchover would manifest itself. I believe that she was hoping for an elaborate set of ramps. Not that I find anything wrong with that, I too enjoy driving along elaborate ramps, and look forward to journeys where I can do so. (I am hoping to one day drive along the Norwegian northwest coast highway, as it looks like a big bunch of fun.)

The story goes that when they arrived at the changeover, they found a uniformed policeman who blew a whistle, stopped them, waved some cars coming the other direction to cross in front of them, and then sent them on their way.

Disappointment!

The Google Sightseeing page brings us a shot of The Lotus Bridge, which connects China (drives on the right) and Macau (drives on the left).

Now this is how it should be done.

The loops are enticing, no? Perhaps some week when I have nothing better to do, I will go to China and drive back and forth across the bridge. In the process, I am sure to make friends with all of the customs officials and help further international good will.

As with almost all things, you can learn far more than you ever needed to know about driving sidedness at Wikipedia.

Sherlock Holmes Returns!

For the past few years, the Stanford University Library has been digitizing Dickens novels and distributing them in their original magazine format.

This year (January to April '06), they will be distributing Sherlock Holmes Adventures (specifically "A Scandal in Bohemia," "The Speckled Band," The Hound of the Baskervilles, and "The Final Problem") exactly as they were published in The Strand Magazine in .pdf or hard copy.

Are you ready for the bird flu?

KFC is.

Had I but Known...

When I decided to start on this little internet adventure, I knew that the tides of my whimsy would lead me to places that I had no idea I would go.


Aquaman is suddenly a hot topic. And not only does nobody know why, but everyone is admitting that they don't know why. But it's a hot topic. So we'll keep on it to stay current. God knows why, though.

Aquaman seems to have gone through two phases. The first is the "J Crew Fish-talking" Aquaman. A gentle, bland fellow. Little girls loved him. You can take him home to Mom. Everyone loves to rank on this Aquaman because he was boring out of the gate and bloody well stayed that way. Even now, when people rank on Aquaman, they are ranking on this one.

That because the other one is "crazy-nuts homeless guy harpoon-hand psycho" Aquaman. Nobody will rank on this one, probably because he looks like he will jump out of the comic book and harpoon you just for looking at him funny.

Of course the problem is that it's still Aquaman. It's sort of like when the painfully shy awkward kid from down the street goes off and becomes a coke-addict car thief. You don't quite take him seriously because deep down he's still the same painfully shy awkward kid.

So anyway. The Smallville appearance was a ratings winner, and the spin-off already has a fan site. They're looking for a new actor, and I'm sure that every young kid in LA is looking forward to calling home after that audition.

Meanwhile, for all of your Aqua-knowledge needs, there are some fine articles here and here.

I'll try my best to stop talking about Aquaman now. Which means that something else involving him will pop up to amuse me quite soon.

We're the Kids in America. Or Finland.

To celebrate the 24th anniversary of the release of "Kids In America," Kim Wilde is rather generously putting up a ton of cover versions on her site.

Five Year's Hell in a Country Parish

You can't beat that title. Five Year's Hell in a Country Parish is the title of a book that I've been trying to track down for close to a decade.

The book was published in the early 1920's by a British clergyman who had endured just that, and unlike most clergy who are installed into a congregation wracked with infighting and name-calling, this fellow decided to fight back. The result was this book, which is rather a legendary one due to its honesty. The Rev. Edward Fitzgerald Synnott, the Rector of Rusper was not a fearful man. He not only told the truth (or at least his side of it), he named names.

I have not yet found the book itself, but a website run by a fellow who is an historian of the area that this all took place. He has a very interesting essay up about the book and its aftermath.

Two things from the essay struck me as interesting:

1) Synnott was a practitioner of what was called "Muscular Christianity" back in the day. An interesting counterpoint to this book then would be Chariots of Fire, which touches on the same movement, in a manner more in keeping with its actual goals.

2) The essayist gives a bit of history that I'd never heard about this book: I had always presumed that the author was writing from a vantage point of having left and was off in a new position, venting into a book while licking his wounds. Nope. After this book was published he remained in the self-same "Hell in a Country Parish" for another thirteen years.

That must have been jolly.

New Cybermen revealed!

It's going to be a lovely ride.

Go to the BBC for a big pic, and check out the flares and comedy shoes!

Now here's something I need for the home and office

A self cleaning work table.

Reality imitates my goofy banter

The WB Network and the producers of "Smallville" are said to be holding preliminary talks about the possibility of a spin-off featuring the scaly undersea king, sources said yesterday.

That's right.

Aquaman.

Perhaps I should start cracking goofy jokes about winning the lottery.

The life of a pop culture commentator is never easy.

Circumstances have somehow forced Richard Roeper to devote an entire column on the latest obscene hand gesture fad.

The Comic Strip, Part 9 - all of the leaves have gone green

"Susie" - January 14th, 1984


Here is the synopsis from epguides.com:

A lascivious schoolteacher has grown hopelessly bored with her bland small-town existence. Her world takes a sudden turn, however, when a wealthy, impetuous pop star moves to town to get a taste of country life. Suddenly, she must choose between her tedious but adoring husband, her indifferent but steady lover, and this intriguing, unpredictable new man in her life.

I could not do any better than that.

One of the things that I am enjoying about seeing these episodes in order at last is seeing how they all play off each other. Where the last one was a surreal farce, this one is only steps away from the sort of drama it's trying to lampoon. Really. Jettison most of the po-faced meta-textually self-aware dialogue, and expand the episode so it is not so breakneck (It clocks in at 33 minutes, but it feels like an hour long) and you have the sort of movie that dies in the multiplex (Ebert likes it and Roeper is indifferent -- ultimately giving it a thumbs down because the characters don't think to use their cell phones in a moment of crisis. He hates that.) but does well in the three-screen college neighborhood mid-to-low price independent theater (with the art-school popcorn barristas and the other two movies could be a soccer comedy from Zimbabwe and a documentary about the hidden social culture of the grey squirrel) and later shows up on an international airline seat-back video player as counter-programming to Herbie Jumps Over the Grand Cayman Islands.

You know the type.

This was another episode not shown on MTV. In some ways this is understandable, as there is an awful lot of sex. In other ways it isn't, as all that shows up on screen is bouncing cars. Of all the things that have turned up on MTV, I can't imagine that they would be upset about bouncing cars, but then I've never pretended to understand MTV. Another reason could be that they simply didn't want to cut the episode down to fit the slot, which on the face of it is unlikely as well - I can't see them suddenly being concerned with something being edited to the point where it no longer makes sense.

Oh, and three cheers for the ending. It not only isn't a cop-out, but makes sense in context of the episode and is (until the punchline which is also fine) reasonably unexpected.

As I walked out in the streets of Laredo,

Here are some of the streets of Laredo, via google maps

As I walked out in Laredo one day,

The official site of the City of Laredo can be found here. If you walk out of Laredo you might find yourself in Mexico, which is just over the bridge.

I spied a poor cowboy all dressed in white linen,

Some versions of the lyrics say "wrapped up" rather than "dressed." I'm not sure what is implied by the cowboy being wrapped up in white linen.

Dressed up in white linen and cold as the clay.

The cowboy is bleeding out and starting to go into shock. I imagine that the bullet missed his heart, perhaps puncturing a lung.

"I see by your outfit that you are a cowboy,"

A cowboy outfit! You can purchase cowboy gear at the Buffalo Brothers Cowboy Store.

These words he did say as I boldly stepped by.

It's at this point in the song that the Smothers Brothers version diverges. If you shop at Buffalo Brothers Cowboy store, you can be a cowboy too.

"Come sit down beside me and hear my sad story;

The sad story was originally put to this melody in a Scottish folk song called 'The Bard of Armagh' or 'The Unfortunate Rake'. It's pretty much the same sad story.

I was shot in the breast and I know I must die.

We've already gone over the "CSI" business. Oddly, the narrator has no idea that the cowboy was there until he hears the man speak. As no gunshot was heard, one imagines that he has been bleeding there for a while. Nobody can haul the man to a doctor. He must have been deemed a hopeless case. Such is the reality of Wild West medicine.

It was once in the saddle I used to go dashing,

I'm not entirely sure what "dashing" might be, but I would have guessed that it's something to do after one gets out of the saddle.

It was once in the saddle I used to go gay.

This line or even the stanza is frequently jettisoned when sung by schoolchildren, because it causes them to get the giggles for some reason.

Off to the dram house and off to the card house

I would have imagined that the drinking and card playing would be done in the same establishment. More efficient that way.

Got shot in the breast, I am dying today.

We know, dear. We know.

Get six strong cowboys to carry my coffin,

Sometimes the line is "jolly cowboys." I imagine a strong cowboy would be easier to find under the circumstances.

Get six pretty girls to sing me a song

The Webb Wilder version uses the term "whore gals." This might be a more authentic version, but it isn't used that often.

Put bunches of roses all over my coffin, so they can't smell me as they bear me along

I don't think this will work all that well.

O beat the drum slowly and play the fife lowly

You know, for someone that nobody even wants to clear out of the street, he really has a lot of high-fallutin' expectations about this.

And play the dead march as you carry me along,

"The" as opposed to "a" dead march. A particular piece? This one? How meta!

Take me to the green valley and lay the sod o'er me,

Not having been to Laredo, I'm not sure where the Green Valley might be. Laredo is apparently an excellent venue for bird watching.

For I am a young cowboy and I know I've done wrong.

An additional stanza that I found online occurs after this line:

Go bring me a cup, a cup of cold water
To cool my parched lips," the young cowboy said.
Before I returned, the spirit had left him
And gone to its Maker, the cowboy was dead.

I've never heard it sung.

We beat the drum slowly and played the fife lowly,

They were able to get a band after all! Excellent!

And bitterly wept as we bore him along;

Another varient is "St. John's Infirmary." Best known currently as the root of the jazz standard "St. John's Infirmary Blues."

It's even more of a downer.

For we all loved our comrade, so brave, young, and handsome,

The version recorded by Prefab Sprout includes a bridge containing the words "Not long for this world,/not long for this world/going the way of the beautiful roses/standing in line/and waving good-bye."

Although it's a lovely melody, the new words suck.

We all loved our comrade although he'd done wrong.

We never did find out precisely what he did that was so wrong, unless bleeding all over the street constitutes littering.

Presumably, getting shot is some sort of moral retribution for going dashing and gay as well as drinking and card playing.

Laredo is approximately 1,430 miles from Las Vegas, where you can go dashing and gay as well as drink and play cards to your heart's content. You can also hire whore gals to sing for you.

God speed, cowboys!

Those juvenile fiction authors, they watch out for each other

"I'm a big Potter fan. . . . Harry Potter is for everyone - adults and children. I think JK is brilliant, I love her. The books are clear and entertaining and smart."
--Madonna, at the premiere of the latest Harry Potter film.

"I haven't read any of the books."
--Madonna, when asked to elaborate.

This wasn't a television show. Nope. Nothing to do with any television show. Ever. Promise.

Now in pre-production. The Guardian is an "action drama" about lifeguards. The story "hinges on the tense relationship between [Kevin] Costner's veteran lifeguard and [Ashton] Kutcher's rookie rebel."

Let's hope that this is that shot in the arm that Hollywood has been longing for.

In the name of research, you understand. Research.

A Japanese businessman has just signed up to be the fourth space tourist. News reports are quoting him as justifying the flight as a research opportunity for possible future space-related business ventures.

Once the spacecraft reaches orbit, he will dress in the costume of his favorite anime character and build a model kit.

Science continues to work for you.

The London Times brings you the facts on cow tipping.

1) It's more difficult than it might seem.

2) Most people who attempt it are drunk.

The Comic Strip, Part 8 - Mr. Klaw (Mr. Vanity Klaw)

"Dirty Movie" - January 7th, 1984

Quite a while ago I thought it would be amusing to make a fake cooking show about making toast. The goal would be to make the most insufferably boring cooking show ever - have the thing actually be a half hour long and at the end we would have seen the host make one slice of toast.

(I have, at times, been accused of having too much interest in entertaining myself at the expense of my potential audience. Hello, Potential Audience!)

In order to draw this thing out to a full half hour, I needed to come up with some banter for the host to spew out as he waved bread around, not toasting it yet. So I sat down and brainstormed a bit and ended up with a list of things to banter to the camera about. The history of bread, how a toaster works, why a salutary drink in someone's honor is a toast, etc.

To my horror, this was starting to become interesting. My joke was lost forever. Nobody will ever see my boring toast video, because it was never made. (My new-found toast knowledge was not compelling enough to motivate me to make an interesting toast video.)

And so we get to "Dirty Movie." I wanted something different. Hoo Boy. This is different.

A cinema proprietor rents a "Dirty Movie" so he can watch it after hours. High-jinks ensue. The high-jinks are provided by (among other things) the local constabulary, a slapstick mailman and a pet lobster named "Breakfast."

To get to the heart of what makes this piece so different, I have to spend a little bit of time attempting to explain a small amount of comedy theory. There is a line of thought in slapstick that believes that while a person caught in a silly or uncomfortable situation might be funny in and of itself, it is when that same situation is observed by someone else that the level of humor increases. For example, if through some sort of comedy mishap I somehow end up with a toilet seat glued to my head, the visual image therein will possibly be amusing. If I then get on a crowded bus, the level of humor increases. The other people on the bus, by being sensibly not expecting a man with a toilet seat glued to his head, will react in a reasonable manner, being shocked, confused, amused, etc. The audience can then react to multiple things: First they see the reason why the strange visual has occurred so they can relate to me and my toilet seat head, then they see the reaction from the other bus riders and relate, because they understand that they would react the same way. Then they can relate to my attempts to cope with not only my toilet seat head, but also my attempts to deflect the reactions of the other passengers. The other passengers have become a knowing gaze, or the straight man to my toilet seat headed shenanigans.

In this episode there are no straight men. None. Well, perhaps Breakfast the Lobster. Everyone might as well be walking around with toilet seats on their heads and not noticing each other's toilet seat heads. This is a world where everyone is Stan Laurel, everyone is Lou Costello. It is a strange new world. And this strangeness brings me back to toast.

Remember the toast?

What I learned from the Toast Experience is that to sustain an idea for a half an hour, you can't just have a silly concept. You have to roll up your sleeves and work. If you don't, you get a half an hour of crap. Which this is not.

Despite the title, this is a rather benign (particularly compared to previous episodes) piece of television. It is well written, well constructed, the acting is consistently perfect, and after all the episodes so far, I have to say that the music here matches the mood exactly.

And then at the end it all comes to a screeching halt. Turns out that this episode seems to have been a commentary on the British Board of Film Censors' recent ramp-up in censorship activity. I hope that they were happy to have caused the climax of this episode to fall completely apart.